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Text - Misc - Mayberry RFD Statistics.txt
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2003-08-15
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Some Mayberry stats
Number of times Barney wore a dress: 3.
Number of times Barney accidentally fired his pistol: 8. 3 into
courthouse floor, 1 into courthouse ceiling, 2 into the air, 1 into
Andy's front porch, and 1 into a tire on a squad car.
Number of panes of glass and/or windows broken by someone: 23.
Percentage of that glass broken by Ernest T. Bass: 78%.
Things wrong with the car Barney bought from Hubcaps
Lesh for $297.50: plugs, points, bearings, valves, rings, fuel pump,
starter switch, ignition wires, water pump, oil pump, clutch, clutch
bearings, clutchplate, brake lining, brake shoes, radiator hose cover,
sawdust in the transmission. And it could stand a good wash.
Number of stoplights in Mayberry: 1.
Number of miles on Aunt Bee's car: 145,000.
Number of steps up to the Taylors' front porch: 2.
Number of steps up to the church (which isn't air-conditioned): 6.
Number of jars of Miracle Salve delivered to Andy's house: 946.
Odd facts known by few
The squad car is a Ford Galaxie.
Visiting hours at the jail are from 2:00PM to 4:00PM.
Written on the inside of Barney's 8th grade history book:
Bernard P. Fife.
This book belongs to Bernard P. Fife.
If lost or stolen, please return to
Bernard P. Fife, signed Bernard P. Fife.
Andy doesn't own a lawn mower - he borrows one from his neighbors,
the Wilsons. The stop sign on Spring Street falls down a lot.
Barney once frisked his mother at a roadblock. This is the only time
she appeared on the show. She had one line: But Barney, I'm
your mother! Andy's desk in the courthouse faces east.
Barney bought his parents a concrete, steel-reinforced septic tank
for their anniversary one year.
Andy and Barney are cousins (sometimes anyway).
The first words spoken on The Andy Griffith Show were:
Anybody know why these two people should not be wed, speak now
or forever hold your peace.
Barney's landlady is Mrs. Mendelbright (pronounced Mrs.
BrendelMright by Barney once when he was gassed).
Barney the realtor thinks he can sell the Taylors' house for $24,000.
The bank vault has a back door (the real door hadn't been opened in
15 years because they lost the combination and the company that made it
went out of business, although a crook once opened the door).
Floyd finally got Andy's sideburns even.
Barney was the town band's standby cymbalist (they had no regular
cymbalist).
Aunt Bee wears glasses when she does sewing and stuff.
Contradictions
Barney has 3 middle names: P., Milton, and Oliver.
Miss Clara Edwards is also called Mrs. Clara Johnson and Bertha.
Goober Pyle's last name was Beasley once (as were a bunch of other people).
Floyd Lawson's last name was Colby once.
The Taylor house has 3 different addresses: 14 Maple, 24 Elm, and 332 Maple.
Sometimes Floyd has a wife and son. Sometimes he is a widower with
no children.
Distances to Mt. Pilot: 12 miles, an hour's drive, a 30-minute drive.
Distances to Raleigh: 50 or 60 miles. But it once took Emmett 5
hours to drive home from Raleigh.
Goober locks up the station at 6:00PM, but the sign says it opens at
7:00AM and closes at 7:00PM.
The squad car's license plate is DC-269 in one episode instead of JL-327.
Anj and Barn graduated from Mayberry Union High in both '45 and '48.
It's also called Mayberry Central High.
Sometimes Aunt Bee cooks her rib roast at 300 degrees and somtimes at 350.
The easternmost north window in the courthouse seemed to have moved a
few feet to the east at some point.
Things Barney says wrong
compelsions == compulsions
inovert == introvert
Smith Brothers Institution == The Smithsonian
heeliocopter == helicopter
kleptomenerac == kleptomaniac
Einsteen == Einstein
inarculated == innoculated (he really meant incarcerated)
extra-sensitive perception == ESP
schizofreeniac == schizophrenic
nave == naive
fire by constriction == fire by combustion
viz-a-viz == vis-à-vis (you know - hand-to-hand)
boodoor == boudoir
Sigmund Frude == Sigmund Freud
demore == demure
noblesse oblage == noblesse oblige
therapetic == therapeutic
Thanks to <a href="mailto:iesr0@agt.gmeds.com">Steven R. Rice</a> for
these additions:
electronal == electronic
reveng == revenge (he misspelled it)
safairy == safari
A Capella (title of song) == a capella (without instruments)
larnyx == larynx
refinishing school == finishing school
a-pathy == apathy
silver spoon in their hand == silver spoon in their mouth
mozz-uh-rella == mozzarella
Poem written on the side of the bank
There once was a deputy called Fife,
Who carried a gun and a knife.
The gun was all dusty,
And his knife was all rusty,
Because he never caught a crook in his life.
Song written about Barney
Oh, My Darin' Barney Fife
(Sung to the tune of Oh, My Darlin' Clementine)
In a jailhouse, down in Dixie, fightin' crime and risking life,
Dwelled a sheriff and his buddy, pistol-packing Barney Fife.
Oh, my darin', oh, my darin', oh, my darin' Barney Fife.
He's a deadly crime-stopper, what a copper, Barney Fife.
One day there came a-ridin' two bad men to rob a bank.
But Fife was tricky, a dead-eye dickey.
Now they're locked up in the tank.
(Andy added this part:)
Oh, my Barney, oh, my Barney, had a jail and couldn't lock it.
Had one bullet for his pistol, had to keep it in his pocket.
Song written for the Mayberry Beauty Pageant
by Floyd the Barber
Hail to Thee, Miss Mayberry
(Sung to the tune of O Tannenbaum)
Hail to thee, Miss Mayberry,
All hail to thee, all hail,
Your loveliness, your majesty,
Brings joy to every male,
All hail, all hail, all hail, all hail,
All hail, all hail, all hail, all hail,
etc...
The Andy Griffith Show theme song
The Fishin' Hole
Well, now, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at The Fishin' Hole,
We may not get a bite all day, but don't you rush away.
What a great place to rest your bones and mighty fine for skippin' stones,
You'll feel fresh as a lemonade, a-settin' in the shade.
Whether it's hot, whether it's cool, oh what a spot for whistlin' like a
fool.
What a fine day to take a stroll and wander by The Fishin' Hole,
I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day.
We'll have no need to call the roll when we get to The Fishin' Hole,
There'll be you, me, and Old Dog Trey, to doodle time away.
If we don't hook a perch or bass, we'll cool our toes in dewy grass,
Or else pull up a weed to chaw, and maybe set and jaw.
Hangin' around, takin' our ease, watchin' that hound a-scratchin' at his
fleas.
Come on, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at The Fishin' Hole,
I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day.
The map
Of course, Mayberry is a fictitious place. The map that hung behind
Andy's desk in the courthouse was rarely a map of even North Carolina,
let alone a place in the South. In episode #15 Those Gossipin'
Men, there are two maps; one, a highway map of the
California-Nevada border, the other, a map of western Montana. The
Montana map was replaced in episode #16 Andy Saves Barney's
Morale with an upside-down map of Idaho.
Someone turned the map right side up in episode #24 The New
Doctor. Episodes #33-36 featured an actual identifiable North
Carolina road map, but it disappeared forever by episode #41
Crime-free Mayberry.
The map used for the remainder of the show was left alone until episode
#73 Lawman Barney when it was turned upside-down. It stayed
that way until the final season. It was turned right side up in episode
#228 The Tape Recorder. It was upside-down again in episode
#231 Andy's Investment, but by the end of the episode it was
had flipped again, and stayed that way for the rest of The Andy
Griffith Show.<P>
Some of my favorite quotes
(These are from memory - I'll double check them first chance I get.)
Maude! Al! If those hamburgers are ruined, I
won't be responsible! --Floyd (really needs the visual of Floyd
hiking up his pants to be complete)
Boy, giraffes are selfish. --Barn
Pigs been in here too, Pa? --Ope
She's an eight-cylinder... She'll take eight. --Gome--Mr. Schwump
Creechture?! Who you callin' a creechture?! --Ernest T.
I cain't hep it, I cain't hep it. --Anj
I need to get out of the house more often. --Aunt Bee
Fly a quail through here and every one of 'em would
point. --Barn, illustrating his point that all the women at Thel's
hen party are dogs
Armpit Studios VIII by Steve Mills (MuffinHead)